If I were to be completely honest, I would tell you that I am a little afraid to go back to Thailand. I know, fear is not of the Lord, but I'm not even sure this is fear. It has always seemed so easy to follow God, to say yes to whatever He asks. And by easy, I do not mean there was not uncertainty or work or lots of questions for God from me. I just mean that I always had so much peace when ever we moved forward to follow Him. Even with His peace, I still cried every day fo the first two weeks we were in Thailand!
But this time? It's just different. I know how hard it is going to be, and I know what the battle field really looks like now. I have experienced Satan's fiery weapons in a whole new way, and I know this is going to be hard. Hard does not equal bad, but there were some bad things that happened on our first term. Yet, I cannot tell God no. I have actually thanked Him for allowing me to be a little afraid. It has pushed me closer to Him. I am relying on His strength and not my excitement. Paired up with all the trials was a whole lot more Grace, and I do not want to miss that experience. I am looking to God in a new way, and I am waiting to see what the story of my second term will be.