A few years ago, my stepdad died. I didn’t make it to him before he slipped into a coma. If I had left when my husband said to leave, this story might be different. Next time, I will do what he says.
I wanted one more chance to tell him about Jesus. Just one more chance to tell him he is loved. I wanted to look in his eyes and tell him how it is God who filled my heart with forgiveness for him—my stepdad that is. That God sent Jesus to die so my stepdad could experience forgiveness. Forgiveness of his sins, for those that had abused him, forgiveness in Christ alone.
But I was too late. I know, I know, God’s timing is perfect, but I can’t seem to let go of the idea that I was too late. People gave plenty of comforting words. “Remember the thief on the cross. A lot of people work out their salvation just before they die. Don’t assume the worse. I really think He got it right at the end.”
I heard a pastor on the radio say the other day the thought that often ran through my mind during that time. Essentially he said there were two thieves that died with Christ, but only one chose Christ. This reminded me that my step dad could very well have denied God right up until the time he met Him face to face.
To say I handled it well would be lying. I had nightmares for months. I found myself wanting to tell everyone about Christ. I probably handed out more tracts in two months than I did the previous year. I was scared. I know God has not given us a spirit of fear, but maybe this isn’t the same “fear.”
This is a fear of people dying and going to hell. I believe hell is real. It’s not a joke people. REAL. And without Christ, that is where you will be when you die. Shouldn’t I fear that????
The other morning, the pastor of the church we were at preached a message trying to show us the despair of a lost person. I felt the fear start to fill my heart.
” But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13
He talked about sorrowing as those which have no hope. Oh, brother and sister in Christ, I sorrowed as those which have no hope. Why? He said it…because I had no hope my step dad ever got right with His creator who loved Him so much and had tried to draw him to Him.
God did His part. I just don’t know that my stepdad ever had faith.
I’ve decided this fear is not bad when I glue it to a promise…
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9
“…Not willing that any should perish…”
When I hold onto both, I feel more compelled to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with those around me; stranger, friend, family,…
Without feeling strangled in my heart by fear that they won’t accept Him…
Hi! My name is Rachael and I am a child of God. I was saved from sin and all its bondage at the age of 21. I am married to an incredible man. He constantly challenges me to grow closer to my Saviour. We have three beautiful children that love the Lord. Currently, our family is preparing to go to Thailand as missionaries.