1 John 4:19 ” We love him, because He first loved us.”
As I was driving the other day, I was memorizing 1 John 4:18 & 19. Mainly because I was bored and Ahmet had written them on a little slip of paper put them on the dash for him to memorize. Then, my mind started wandering (my normal state when I am driving) and I began thinking about mine and Ahmet’s relationship.
I have a really amazing man and we have an awesome marriage and he loves me a ton!!!! But it has not always been this way. If not for God, we would be part of the high divorce rate in America.
We came so close to being a broken family with broken hearts.
However, we decided to let God work, and have our marriage be based on God and His design.
Then, I realized I could say with all honesty, that I am 100% certain Ahmet loves me more than he ever has before. How do I know that? Because every single day, I see him love God more, and it spills out to me. It is actually pretty amazing! I love him more, too, but that is easy because he is an incredible guy! I am quite certain that I am not so easy to love!
From there, my thoughts kept traveling to how my love for God has grown, too. The more I realize just how much sin I had/have, the more I appreciate His gift of salvation to me, and how He is constantly working to make me more like Christ. I would have quite by now, if I was God!
Then it hits me, as my thoughts keep wandering, wait a minute! That verse! None of this would be possible: my salvation, sanctification, marriage, children, mission field, etc, etc….without God having loved me first! And the most amazing part….He loved me just as much in my sinful state as He does right now.
1 John 2: 4-5 “But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by Grace ye are saved;)”…
How amazing! Nothing I do makes Him love me more or less, and this truth is one I have struggled with since getting saved. I am so glad He has worked this out in my heart, and that He has put so many wonderful people in my life that are examples of this to me every day!
“Oh, how He loves you and me!
Oh, how He loves you and me!
He gave His life, what more could He give?
Oh, how He love you.
Oh, how He loves me.
Oh, how He loves you and me!”
I have been here before. Probably will be again. It’s that “hard place.” That place where life just seems….”hard.” Seems like these times are defined by words that bring strong emotions. Words like: hysterectomy, lies, no, immune system, uncertainty,depression, miscarriage, divorce, fired, cancer….(not all apply to me right now!) Satan likes to use them to play with our emotions and have us react. He won’t win. My foundation is a rock, and my anchor holds. Better than that…I serve Jesus Christ and He controls the winds and the waves.
These times might be hard, but they are still good. Since I have been saved, these times bring treasures, and I wouldn’t trade the treasures for anything in this world. Couldn’t really, because they are not of this world. Treasures with names like: Peace, Joy, Comfort, Trust.
It is almost surreal. I look at the circumstances surrounding me and I think, “Why? Why am I so calm?” Silly lady! I know that answer. Those other hard times have taught me how to walk through this….right next to Christ. That is not to say I have not had moments when I feel completely undone, and that is okay, because when I am weak, His strength can be shown. But I am not dwelling in that undone state. I refuse.
God is too good for me to act like He is not.
These times don’t last forever, and mine pale in comparison to everyone else’s, but maybe you are in the same place I am. Let me pray for you and encourage you.
Isaiah 40: 28-31
“Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, [that] the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? [there is] no searching of his understanding.
He giveth power to the faint; and to [them that have] no might he increaseth strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.”
And this has really been a blessing to me:
1 Peter 1: 3-7
“Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,
Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
This is an opportunity for us to let God grow us, and make us more like Christ. When this time is over, we can share what we have learned and help others!
As a side note…Even though Ahmet and I knew our chances were slim-to-none of having more children, we were holding out for another one of His miracles. We have prayed and prayed and prayed….so our hearts broke when we were told a hysterectomy was our best option. Even though the grief was overwhelming at first, the peace of God that is ruling in our hearts proves, yet again, He has always been faithful and will always be. The surgery is scheduled for the 26th and your prayers for the doctor and recovery would be appreciated. Thank you!
Hi! My name is Rachael and I am a child of God. I was saved from sin and all its bondage at the age of 21. I am married to an incredible man. He constantly challenges me to grow closer to my Saviour. We have three beautiful children that love the Lord. Currently, our family is preparing to go to Thailand as missionaries.